Intentions That Stick
- R.M. Couse
- Jan 2
- 4 min read
Turn parenting intentions into small, doable shifts that create lasting change for you and your child.
January often arrives carrying a familiar message: Set Goals. It’s time for a change.
Be calmer. Be more patient. Yell less. Stick to routines. Follow through.
Many parents enter the new year with the best of intentions — and by mid-month, they’re already feeling discouraged. Not because they don’t care. Not because they lack discipline.
But because most New Year’s goals were never designed to work with real life… or real nervous systems.
This is where parenting with intention asks for a different approach.
Why Typical New Year’s Resolutions Fall Apart
Traditional goals often fail parents because they:
Focus on outcomes, not capacity
Expect consistency without support
Ignore the role of the nervous system
Ask for big change without changing the conditions underneath
A goal like “I won’t yell anymore” sounds clear — but it doesn’t account for exhaustion, overstimulation, or the fact that yelling often happens when your nervous system is overwhelmed.
Without support, even the most heartfelt intention becomes another way parents judge themselves.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just stop yelling?”
A more supportive question is:
What would help me show up differently — most of the time — in real life?
Intention Is Not a Goal — It’s a Direction
An intention isn’t something you achieve.
It’s something you practice.
Intentions work best when they are:
Rooted in values
Flexible under stress
Supported by small, repeatable actions
For example:
Goal: “Stay calm during meltdowns”
Intention: “I want to pause and respond with steadiness when things are hard.”
The intention gives you direction. The habit-building work happens through small, nervous-system-aware practices.
The Thrive Together Parenting Framework as a Support Structure for Change
Sustainable change doesn’t happen through willpower alone. It happens when your environment, relationships, and nervous system are working with you — not against you.
The four pillars offer a structure that helps intentions become habits.
Pillar 1: Connection — Change Happens in Relationship
Most parents try to change their behaviour in isolation. But connection creates safety — and safety supports regulation.
Micro-practices:
Start the day with a 20-second moment of connection (eye contact, a hug, a shared breath)
Name the intention out loud with your child: “I’m practicing staying calm when things feel rushed.”
Repair after hard moments instead of aiming for perfection
Real-life scenario:
You snap during the morning rush. Instead of spiralling into shame, you reconnect:
“That was a hard moment. I’m working on slowing myself down. Want a redo?”
Connection turns mistakes into practice.
Pillar 2: Know Yourself — Support Your Nervous System First
Habits are easier to build when our nervous systems are supported.
Before asking “What should I do differently?” ask:
What does my nervous system need so this change is even possible?
Micro-practices:
Choose one regulation anchor (breath, movement, sensory input)
Practice it outside of hard moments
Notice early signs of dysregulation instead of waiting until you’re overwhelmed
Real-life scenario:
Your intention is to pause before responding.
You realize this only works if you are rested, have had your morning coffee, and had at least one moment of grounding earlier in the day.
Change becomes kinder — and more realistic.
Pillar 3: Know Your Child — Adjust the Expectation, Not Just Yourself
Many intentions fall apart because they don’t account for the child standing in front of you.
Understanding your child allows you to shape habits that actually fit.
Micro-practices:
Identify your child’s stress signals
Adjust timing, environment, or expectations before behaviour escalates
Match support to your child’s temperament, not an idealized version of them
Real-life scenario:
Your intention is calmer evenings. You notice your child unravels after busy days — so you shorten transitions, lower demands, and build in decompression time.
The habit becomes proactive instead of reactive.
Pillar 4: Intention — Small Actions, Repeated Often
Neuroplasticity reminds us that the brain changes through repetition — not perfection.
Even imagining a new response strengthens the pathway.
Micro-practices:
Choose one small action tied to your intention
Practice it once a day, not all day
Reflect instead of judging when it doesn’t happen
Real-life scenario:
Your intention is to pause before responding.
Your micro-practice is placing a hand on your chest before speaking.
Some days you remember. Some days you don’t.
Both days count.
A Simple Step-by-Step: Turning Intention Into Habit
Name the value. What matters most to you in hard moments?
Set the intention. Phrase it as a direction, not a demand.
Choose one micro-practice. So small it feels almost too easy.
Anchor it to regulation. Pair it with breath, movement, or sensory support.
Reflect weekly, not constantly. Ask: What supported this? What made it harder?
January Is Not a Reset — It’s a Continuation
You don’t need to become a new parent. You need to find a way to parent that fits the person you already are.
You need support, compassion, and a structure that honours how change actually happens.
Small shifts, practiced consistently, create real change — not just in behaviour, but in how parenting feels.
And that’s the kind of intention worth returning to.
The Thrive Together Parenting Framework offers a grounded, nervous-system-aware way to turn meaningful intentions into daily practices — one small shift at a time.
~Rose Couse~
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You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin — one small, intentional step at a time.
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