Good Enough Parenting: Why Perfect Parenting Doesn’t Work

R.M. Couse
Oct 1
2 min read

What is Good Enough Parenting?

Introduction: The Trap of Perfection

If you’ve ever scrolled through social media and felt that pang of guilt—Why can’t I be more patient? More organized? More fun?—you’re not alone. Parents today are under enormous pressure to be perfect. But here’s the truth: perfect parenting doesn’t exist. In fact, chasing it often makes parenting harder, not better.

The constant quest to “get it right” often creates anxiety, making it harder to truly connect with your child.

The Myth of the Perfect Parent

Modern parenting is full of impossible standards. We’re told to always stay calm, always engage in enriching activities, always cook healthy meals, always respond with empathy. The list never ends.

But perfection is exhausting—and it can even backfire. When we’re focused on checking boxes or living up to an ideal, we miss the simple joy of being together.

Children don’t need flawless parents. They need real ones who can show up, make mistakes, and keep going.

What “Good Enough” Parenting Really Means

The term “good enough” parenting was first introduced by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. His research found that children don’t need perfect attunement or constant responsiveness. What matters most is that parents are attuned most of the time—enough for children to feel seen, safe, and loved.

In other words: being present, consistent, and responsive in the majority of moments is enough to build a secure foundation.

Why “Good Enough” Is Better for Kids

Children actually benefit when parents aren’t perfect:

Resilience: They learn that relationships can weather missteps.
Flexibility: They see that it’s okay to be imperfect and still worthy of love.
Coping skills: They learn how to repair and recover from mistakes.

Good enough parenting creates space for children to build the very skills they’ll need in life.

How to Practice “Good Enough” Parenting

Challenge perfectionist thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking, “I should never…,” ask: “Is this realistic?”
Model self-compassion. Let your child see you make mistakes—and see how you handle them.
Focus on connection, not control. Your child will remember feeling loved more than the Pinterest-worthy lunchbox.
Celebrate progress, not perfection. Notice what’s working, even in small ways.