Power of the Pause: How Slowing Down Helps You Parent with Intention

Power of the Pause

Parenting often feels like a fast-moving train. There are the morning scrambles, the bedtime negotiations, and everything in between. In the rush of it all, we can find ourselves reacting rather than responding — raising our voices, issuing quick consequences, or defaulting to patterns we wish we could break.

But what if one small shift could create more space for calm, clarity, and connection?

That shift is the pause.

The Science Behind the Pause

When we're dysregulated — overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or running on empty — our nervous system goes into survival mode. That’s when we flip our lid, as Dr. Dan Siegel puts it, and move from our thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) to our reactive brain (the amygdala).

In this state, we’re more likely to yell, shut down, or power through with control.

Pausing — even for a breath or two — gives us the chance to interrupt that stress response. It brings us back into our body, back into the moment, and back into the version of ourselves we want to be for our kids.

Why Pausing Works

When we pause, we:

✔ Regulate our own nervous system, signaling to our body and brain that we’re safe.

✔ Create a moment of awareness between stimulus and response.

✔ Model emotional regulation for our kids.

✔ Give ourselves the gift of choice — to respond with intention, not impulse.

It’s not about getting it right every time. It’s about creating more moments when we catch ourselves and choose differently.

Try This: Simple Strategies to Practice the Pause

You don’t need a meditation cushion or a perfect schedule to bring more intention into your parenting. Here are a few simple ways to start:

1. Name It to Tame It

When emotions rise — yours or your child’s — try naming what you’re feeling: “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” “This is frustration showing up.” Naming activates the thinking brain and helps calm the emotional brain.

2. Mantra Magic

Choose a calming phrase that centers you. Mine is: “Connection over control.” Others might be:

• “My child is not giving me a hard time, they are having a hard time.”

• “This is a moment, not a lifetime.”

• “I can handle this with love.”

• “Pause, breathe, respond.” Say it out loud or silently when you feel your fuse shortening.

3. Hand on Heart or Grounding Touch

Physical touch is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system. Try placing your hand on your heart, or pressing your feet firmly into the floor, and taking a slow breath. Let your body remind you that you’re safe.

4. Visual Cues

Place a sticky note somewhere you’ll see often: “Pause.” “Breathe.” “You’ve got this.” These gentle reminders can catch you in the swirl and help you come back to center.

Parenting with intention doesn’t mean never losing it.

It means practicing the pause, again and again, so we can keep coming back to who we want to be.

And if today didn’t go how you hoped, tomorrow is a new chance to try again.

That’s the beauty of the pause — it’s always available to you.

~Rose Couse~

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