Parent With Purpose: Let Your Values Guide You
- R.M. Couse
- May 1
- 3 min read
Parent with Purpose
Parenting often feels like a never-ending to-do list—meals to make, shoes to find, tantrums to soothe, sibling squabbles to referee. It’s easy to get swept up in the daily demands and lose sight of the bigger picture.
But every once in a while, we get a moment of pause—a quiet car ride, a glance at our sleeping child, a memory sparked by an old photo—and we’re reminded: this matters. These little lives in our care are shaped not only by what we do, but by who we are and what we stand for.
That’s where values come in.
Why Values Matter in Parenting
Our values are the deep beliefs that guide how we live and relate to others. When it comes to parenting, values shape the atmosphere in our homes, the way we discipline, how we respond to challenges, and the messages we pass down—often without even realizing it.
When we parent from a clear sense of values, we’re more likely to respond with intention instead of reacting on autopilot. And when life gets messy (because it will), values act like a compass—pointing us back to what really matters.
A Moment of Reflection
Take a deep breath. If you’re able, close your eyes for a few moments and picture your child years from now—grown and looking back on their childhood.
Ask yourself:
“What do I want my child to remember about their childhood?”
Write down what comes to mind—no filtering, no perfect wording. Just let it flow. You might think of feelings like safety, laughter, connection. You might think of moments like family dinners, bedtime stories, being held when they cried.
This simple question can lead us to the heart of our values.
Examples of Core Parenting Values
Not sure where to start? Here are a few values that often show up for parents:
Connection – Prioritizing emotional closeness and open communication
Kindness – Modeling compassion, empathy, and care for others
Resilience – Teaching children how to cope with challenges and bounce back
Curiosity – Encouraging exploration, questions, and a love of learning
Respect – Treating each other with dignity and honoring differences
Honesty – Valuing truthfulness, even when it’s hard
Your list will be unique to you—and that’s the point.
Turning Values into Daily Choices
Once you’ve identified a few core values, ask yourself:
How do I express this value in the way I interact with my child?
How do my routines or rules reflect this value—or how could they?
How can this value guide me during stressful moments or conflicts?
For example, if connection is one of your core values, it might mean choosing to pause and listen when your child is melting down, even if you're tired and overwhelmed. If respect is key for you, it might look like giving your child choices or validating their feelings—even when setting a firm limit.
The Power of Naming It
When you’re in a tough moment—your child is yelling, your patience is thin, your inner critic is loud—coming back to your values can help you shift your response.
Ask yourself: What matters most right now? What do I want to teach through this moment?
It won’t always be easy, and you won’t always get it right (none of us do). But parenting on purpose isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up with intention.
Your Turn: Reflect and Realign
Take 10–15 minutes this week to reflect:
What 3–5 values feel most important in your parenting?
How are those values showing up in your everyday interactions?
Where might you want to realign?
And revisit the question often:
“What do I want my child to remember about their childhood?” Your answers may shift as they grow—and as you grow too.
Remember, you’re not just raising a child—you’re shaping a relationship and writing a story they’ll carry with them. Parenting with purpose helps that story reflect the values that matter most to you.
Want help to clarify your core values and start parenting with intention, download the Parenting on Purpose Workbook
~Rose Couse~
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